The United States is the best in the world at a lot of things, but returning the nation’s stockpile of lost property to all the rightful owners simply isn’t one of them. If any enemies – foreign or domestic – threaten us, we will strike them down with a vengeance using our ultra-advanced military industrial complex. Likewise, if anyone around the world wants to know how to look cool, all they have to do is look to Hollywood, New York and all the other ‘hot scenes’ around the country. So we’re the best at kicking butt and looking cool, but solving the lost property problem is way over our heads. It doesn’t have to be this way. The country may be facing a lost property problem now, but with a little attention, we could have this thing licked faster than you say, “Tinsletown”.

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The United States is the best in the world at a lot of things, but returning the nation’s stockpile of lost property to all the rightful owners simply isn’t one of them. If any enemies – foreign or domestic – threaten us, we will strike them down with a vengeance using our ultra-advanced military industrial complex. Likewise, if anyone around the world wants to know how to look cool, all they have to do is look to Hollywood, New York and all the other ‘hot scenes’ around the country. So we’re the best at kicking butt and looking cool, but solving the lost property problem is way over our heads. It doesn’t have to be this way. The country may be facing a lost property problem now, but with a little attention, we could have this thing licked faster than you say, “Tinsletown”.<\/p>\n\n